What Husbands Can't Resist Review
About What Husbands Cant Resist By Bob Grant
What Husbands Can't Resist By Bob Grant is a book by a relationship counseller of 17 years experience that is targetted specifically at saving marriages and getting them back on track. In fact the author self-style's himself as 'The Relationship Doctor' and has written a number of books on the subject of getting your ex back and on relationship repair in general (you can read my reviews here of The Women Men Adore and Never Want To Leave and here for How Do I Get Him Back that Bob Grant has also written).
You can see from those two books that Bob has a lot to say to women in particular, and this new guide, What Husband's Can't Resist carries on the same theme by being aimed primarily at advising women on how best to have a happy marriage. It weighs in at 115 pages long, so there is a lot of good information to absorb here.
In truth, these guides are much needed. The divorce statistics in the United States are quite shocking. In fact, the US actually tops the charts in the amount of divorces per head of population (you can see the stats here) with rates that are more than twice those of neighbouring Canada, and approximately 50% of marriages in the United States ending in divorce. On the flip side of that though, the US also has the highest rate of marriages of any country, so it is good to see that hope still springs eternal :-)
The fact is though that if you are married, or about to embark on marriage that it is basically a toin toss as to whether you will still be together in 5 years time. What that means is NOT that you should bemoan the state of marriage, or somehow think it is inevitable that you will end up on the wrong side of those statistics, but rather that you should endeavour to take steps to ensure that you are on the right 50%.
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How you can do that is basically the topic of this book. Hence it is not just for folk who are going through serious troubles in their marriage (though in all likelyhood those are the group most imminently motivated to get a guide like this); but also for other couples where things are actually working pretty well, but where you want to ensure that they stay at least that good, and learn some new tricks and strategies to take your relationship to the next level.
That is as it should be . You should never settle for the ordinary when it is quite possible to have the extraordinary. And waiting around for your marriage to lose its sizzle is a sure fire strategy to end up in the divorce courts (and that will end up costing you a lot more then the price of this book).
Bob approaches the process by asking you questions about your current relationship, and realy honing down into the nitty-gritty details of it. This is good, because it is only by being honest with yourself that you can ever hope to move forward. But by the same token you wouldn't neccessarily feel comfortable sharing your innermost thoughts with a counsellor, and so you can help yourself without having to involve anyone else. In a way you get the best of both worlds. You get Bobs advice as a Marriage Counsellor of some 17 years standing, but by the same token there is no neon sign flashing above your doorway saying, "Marriage In Trouble! Marriage In Trouble!" which is how it could feel if you had to go to marriage guidance counselling.
Plus, in reality whilst you can pick up quite easily when all is not right in a marriage, that doesn't mean to say that you could say exactly what is wrong. For that you need to actively analyse your particular situation and come up with answers that are unique to you. You cannot conveniently fit most marriages into cookie-cutter style jars (no matter how convenient that would be), and so using active questionning techniques is a great way of coming to understand PRECISELY what is going on. And as the saying goes, "Begun is half done". So simply the action of doing the exercises in the book by itself is enough to help the situation to improve in numerous ways.
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Once you have learned where you currently stand with your relationship, then Bob talks about different methods that you can use to make yourself irresistable to your husband. Now in some ways this may sound incredible to you, especially if you have almost forgotten the last time your husband thought of you in those terms. But, he did at some point! (Or if he didn't then perhaps a new man is actually what is called for...)
It is those feelings, amongst other things, that is why you ended up getting married in the first place. And the mind never really forgets that which we learn or experience. It is laid down in memory pathways ready to quickly re-emerge when called back into action. For example, what is 6 x 6 ? I bet the answer 36 came into your head quick as lightning. Its because it was laid down as a child through repetition of the times tables. You may not use it, but its never going away. Same thing with the feelings that you and your husband shared. If he ever felt passion for you then he can again. You simply need to learn how to trigger it again.
Bob does this by talking about how you can use certain words, phrases and actions that are literally dynamite to getting him to reconnect with you. The book is filled with a whole series of these. It shows you not only how you can re-establish that bond again. But how you can strengthen it and make the relationship even better then before.
It shows you how slight changes in behaviour can have dramatic changes in the dynamic of the relationship. Now, if you have ever heard of 'The Butterfly Effect' then this makes a lot of sense. The butterfly effect says that seemingly minute changes can cause dramatic repercussions. The classic example is that a butterfly flaps its wings in Brazil and causes a tornado in Kansas (don't ask me exactly HOW :-)). And the same thing is going on here. Small changes in your relationship now can have dramatic repercussions in the future health of you relationship. So it is in your best interests to get to grip with this stuff NOW, so that you can reap a bountiful harvest down the track.
A good thing to realise as well is that this book is NOT manipulative. You are not forcing your husband to be better. He will simply change because you set up the right conditions for change to flourish. It is a bit like a plant. If you put it in stony, sandy soil then it will likely shrivel up and die. If however you put that same plant in rich, fertile soil then it will flourish. It won't question it either way, or think its being 'manipulated'. It will simply act in accordance with whatever conditions it faces. The same is true of your husband. Give him the warm, fertile soil of the changes that you will instigate, and you will get a happier more loving partner. You simply need to take action to make it happen.
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Here is one story Bob relates about what happened when one of his clients, Donna, started using these techniques on her husband Ted:
I taught Donna a skill (see page 48 of What Husbands Can't Resist) which literally mesmerized her husband.
When Ted came in at the following counseling session, he said to me, "I can't remember the last time I felt so powerless around my wife. I mean, if she had wanted a new dress right there and then, or a fancy trip, or whatever, I'm afraid I would have said yes because I wouldn't have been able to stop myself."
Let's face it. You didn't get married thinking that you would one day divorce. You were certain this was forever when your got married. So what changed? You need to start thinking about that and taking action right now if you are going to get things fixed. It is not going to happen my magic. You need to make it happen.
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