The Ex Recovery System Review
About The Ex Recovery System By Ashley Kay
The Ex-Recovery System by Ashley Kay is a system designed to help you get back with your ex. Its 'angle' is that it aims to avoid being a 'one-size-fits-all' solution, but rather have an element of interactivity to it so that you are able to use strategies that best fit with your personality, rather then ones that just don't feel right.
Like many guides of the 'Get Ex Back' variety the focus of many of the techniques is around various NLP style techniques, but with different twists guided towards making them work within the context of relationships.
The book has over 130 pages, so it is nice and meaty and has lots of great information. So there are a lot of different strategies to pick and choose between. You also get a number of bonuses which include an interactive journal, lifetime updates and a premium membership to a special relationship site.
The main thrust of the content is taken up between two main sections:
1/ Understanding and Analysis
AND
2/ A Plan Of Action
Let's take a look at what is on offer from each section:
Ashley first takes a look at exactly where you are now, how you are thinking, the kinds of actions you are taking, and gets you to to take stock of your current situation.
This is a sensible approach, because you cannot move forward unless you first accept where you currently are, and what has gone both right and wrong in your relationships. Many times people have breakthroughs with counsellors because it is this first part that is effectively being practiced in psychoanalysis. Getting you to understand where you have come from so that you can accept it.
In order to do that the Understanding and Analysis section has four main steps, which each in turn are then broken down into further sub-sections to really drill down to the nitty-gritty detail.
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These are:
Step 1/ Where can you go from here? Are you emotionally prepared to address what's happened?
In this section Ashley discusses how you can finally get proper control of your emotions (no-one is attracted to people who constantly 'lose it'). She talks about how you can eliminate break-up pains from your life to feel better almost instantly, and talks about the actions you can take now to start getting in control of your emotions.
There are a couple of good quizzes and action steps in this section that were really good.
Step 2/ Assessing What Really Went Wrong In Your Relationship
In this part of the Ex Recovery System Ashley is now delving down into the whys. By the end of the first section you have techniques that you can use to get over the immediate pain. But now it's time to move beyond lancing the boil of your pain, and instead figure out how you can have relationships on a healthier footing.
To do this Asley tells you the 3 biggest reasons why men will leave a relationship, and also the 3 biggest reasons why women will leave a relationship. (This is a difference of this product and many others about getting your ex back, namely that this has specific sections for both men and women, so it could really be equally be used by either men or women to get their exes back.) And then goes on to discuss the differences between long term and short term relationships in terms of expectations and how to deal with them.
It then has a really nice exercise that precisely explores the reasons why your ex ACTUALLY left you. Again, this is a nice tailored approach, because you need to understand this specifically for yourself, and not just in general terms if you are going to be able to get them back.
Step 3/ Break-Up Psychology
In this section you can discover all the different stages that make up a typical breakup, and you can then compare it to your own situation. It also discusses the different break-up personality types, as it is crucial to understand that different people break-up for different reasons, and if you can get a handle on WHY it happened with your specific partner, then you have a great shot at being able to fix it and get them back.
There are also some cool tips and tricks in here that talk aboput how you can get the connection deeper, and assessing the reasons why you actually want your ex back in the first place.
I liked this part because you need to understand exactly what happened, what your psychology is, what your partners psychology is, and what you are REALLY looking for in a relationship; if you are to ensure that you don't have the same problems with your relationships in the future.
Now, Ashley moves on to a discussion of the ACTUAL Plan to Get Your Ex Back!
This takes up the second portion of the Ex-Recovery System book and delves into the crucial new knowledge that you are going to have to build up if you are going to successfully get your ex back.
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The steps includes in the Plan of Action are:
Step 1/ Contact! Contact! Contract!
This is really important. The first contact with your ex after a little while really sets the tone for the ongoing relationship. So you need to get this right. Ashley discusses various strategies around this topic, and also asks fundamental questions about whether or not you are actually ready to contact them and how to do it. There are many different methods, and there is much more to this then you would realistically ever realise, but get it wrong, and it can literally at best delay getting back, or at worst totally sabotage your endeavours.
Step 2/ Build Up To Getting Back...
This talks about two great methods to get your ex back, and is split up into several different plans and parts for action. There are both direct and indirect methods that mean regardless of whether you are a larger then life character, or rather quiet, there will be a method that you can use to make it happen.
This is good stuff. You need to do more then read it. You need to apply it. But if you do...
Step 3/ Roadblocks - Getting Rid Of The Other Person In Your Exes Life
Ninja stuff. Up till now the assumption has been that your ex is still single, but if she/he is not then you need to drag her away from them.
This is the only part that gave me some pause for thought. No doubt its killer stuff, and will work. But I don't know if having this type of information 'out there' is a good idea or not? Perhaps I am a bit squeamish. Anyhow, this is the reason I gave it 4 rather then 5 stars, because part of me is not sure if this info shouldn't be removed from the book to protect the innocent. Still, I guess if its used morally its ok.
Step 4/ Get them To Commit
So, right, you have done all the hard work and should have got your ex back by the time you read this part of the book. So now Ashley discusses how to avoid the sins of the past, and have your partner commit to you WITHOUT you getting in the same position as before.
Conclusion
I really liked this book. I thought it had a lot of cool stuff in it. Was well thought out and could defintely give you a lot of power to get your ex back. If you put in some effort and action and make it happen by actively following the Ex-recovery Roadmap, then you would have every chance.
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Just wanted to say well done! I have never come across a more in-depth detailed book on getting my ex back. The explanations concerning the psychology of relationship was extremely helpful in understanding all I've done wrong in my previous relationships as well as making me realize what I what from them.
By far your interactive journal helped the most, really making me start Doing something to repair the damage I've done. Now I'm smarter and more active in my current relationship, having the best time of my life.
Thanks again for all the great work,
Ian, Australia
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